Funny Likes

Liking your own status is like high fiving yourself in public...

The most common lie isn't, "I'm fine", it's "I have agreed to the Terms of Service".

I didn't fall.  I attacked the floor.

There's plenty of fish in the sea. LOL jk, there's an oil spill.

DON'T YOU TYPE AT ME IN THAT TONE OF VOICE.

If you can't convince them, confuse them!

Look at the keyboard, U and I are together, look underneath it says JK.

That wasn't funny but I'll put "lol" anyway.

to wave at security cameras.

When you shout, "HEY UGLY" and about 10 people turn around.

If you ask me to hold your drink, I will drink it.

"You look pretty today!" "...Was I ugly yesterday?!"

I've never actually seen someone slip on a banana peel!

"No iPods in school!" "Yes, because I'm going to cheat off my test, listening to Eminem."

I hate it when I'm taking a drink and all the ice attacks my face.

Sorry I missed your call... LOL JK I purposely didn't pick up.

Drunk people trying to convince you that they're sober.

Yelling "Run Forest Run" when someone runs by.

9/11 is a perfect example of why we can't pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars.

being so G you're almost H.

"I'm sorry!" "STOP SAYING SORRY!" "Okay...Sorry"

No I didn't trip... The floor looked like it needed a hug.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" *answers phone* "Hi Mom."

"It's so fluffy I'm going to die!  IT'S SO FLUFFAAAAAY!!!"

"Officer I swear to drunk I'm not God"

"Whoa, it's really hot in here" "Sorry, should I leave?"

Don't ask me, just Google it.

That's right. When I was 12, I watched PG-13 movies. REBEL.

Parents call it "talking back" we call it "answering your question".